The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
