The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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