I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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