Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
