I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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