in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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