I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I believe in your delicious
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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