i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
