The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
