I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Help. Why am I so naked?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
