Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
