would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
