I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
