i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
