Fuck appropriateness.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
