just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my shit smells like andre
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize
