I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
