Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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