the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Mom said you looked used
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
