I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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