Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm passing your future prison.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
