M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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