Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
