DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
