im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
