carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
