found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
