Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
