why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
