It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
