I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Randomize
