I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
