I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
