his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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