Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
