Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
