Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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