dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
