Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
