doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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