and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
