i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
