haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
