Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
