do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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