It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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