I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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