In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
