i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've blown a few things in my day
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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