3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So much rum. So many feels.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
