Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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