He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
